Finding Joy Through Accepting Things As They Are

A few posts back, I wrote about this part of me that is broken.  It's a very specific part and very difficult for me to explain or for anyone else to understand.  Very few people know about this, and it will probably stay that way forever.  It's not really something I want to try to explain anymore, as it only leaves me more frustrated that there is no way anyone can understand it or know how to help.  I'm not sure if there is even anything to help it, besides someday having my heart healed and made whole in the arms of the Savior, a promise that I hold onto with all I have.

Sometimes my heart cries out, "No one understands, and no one will ever understand!"  That is so scary to me.  With all the people in this world, no one can get inside my heart and feel it as I do.  I can try to put it into words, but those are always inadequate.  There is no way to form words to explain the depth of pain that this one thing has caused me. 

But time and time again, when I am on my knees telling Heavenly Father that I am so alone, He speaks peace to my heart and mind through the Spirit reminding me that someone does understand perfectly, and that someone is the Savior.  He doesn't just understand depression, He understands my depression.  And He understands, because He actually felt what my depression feels like.  He did that by choice, so that He can give me the wonderful gift of saying that He really truly does understand.  I'm so thankful for that! 

While I can't put into words what I feel and will possibly never be able to, I find so much comfort and joy in accepting that the Savior is the only who understands, and that's okay!  That's all I need.  And when the pain seems too great to bear, I picture myself in His arms, gaining strength and courage from His perfect love.

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