Two year ago, this day changed my life. It still makes me want to cry when I think about it-- what happened, how it affected me for so long, and how it is still a painful part of me.
One year ago, this day changed my life again, but this time for the better. I shared this part of my story, and for the first time, I really felt like I had a voice that needed to be heard on the topics of suicide prevention and understanding severe depression. I never would have thought that any of this would have been my life, but being able to find little ways to turn my past darkness into light for someone else fills me with purpose.
Today, I am happy. I still have days when I struggle with things, especially overcoming the traumatic memories and triggers from being severely depressed for such a long time, but overall, I'm much happier. I'm thankful to still be here, thankful to be able to work hard to find my whole peace again, and thankful to feel hope. I wish I could somehow wrap that hope and happy ending to my story in a little box to give to anyone who is struggling with thoughts of suicide. Oh what I would have given to have been able to receive that from someone else when I needed it.
So I guess you'll just have to trust me. Trust me that sticking around is worth it. Trust me that the people around you really truly want you here, that they for sure wouldn't be better off without you. I can tell you that they would be devastated to lose you. *I* would be devastated to lose you. Trust me that there are people around you who want to and are able to help you. Mine was a long journey that involved so many different people somehow coming together in the most perfect way to provide me with the help I desperately needed. The same can happen for you! Trust me that someday you will be glad you stayed. Where I'm at now has a really great view, and it keeps getting better.
For so long, I thought I was destined to die from depression, but now I'm learning what it's like to live again, and it's a beautiful life!
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