Healing is an interesting thing. This day last year, I saw my lifeless baby on an ultrasound and the next day we moved into our new house. I felt so broken as we unpacked and organized, and I wondered if the gaping wound in my heart would be there forever after. I didn't think I would ever heal enough to want another baby or to have days where I didn't think about this heartbreaking loss. But last night, I realized what today was, and it didn't hurt. It's not that I've forgotten or that thinking about it doesn't make me sad or wish it could have been different, but I'm okay. I've healed so much in the last year and have moved forward carrying those tender memories with me while looking ahead to growing our family in time.
At the same time, certain wounds surrounding the most traumatic parts of my journey with depression aren't healing as well with time, so I am seeking the help of a counselor to work through some of those painful memories. I used to be incredibly ashamed at the thought of needing to see a counselor, but now I'm thankful for the availability of that kind of help. I foresee healing in my future.
#Healing
#MyRainbowWillCome
#ThereIsHope
