The thing I despise very most about Rocky (my kidney stone) is how he has affected my mental health more and more as time has gone on. Because of the pain from him and my surgery to aid in my process of getting rid of him, I've had to stop swimming, standing/walking for too long, and driving. (Thankfully the last couple of days have been better so I've been able to do a little more.) Because of the infections he has caused, I've had to stay away from people and germs to try to get this all cleared up so I can get the surgery done to take him away forever. All of these things combined make a perfect recipe for depression. And then it's all compounded by the fact that it's Christmastime and my depressed brain tells me that I'm the crummiest mom ever, my kids will never have good memories, they need someone else who can give them a better life, and I'm simply not good enough. All the tears this week have been exhausting.
One good thing is that I can clearly see the impact exercise has on my mind, which gives me even more motivation to do it when I'm a able to again.
Another good thing is that I have a sweet boy who is willing to share his most prized puppy, blankie, and blippi bear when I can't seem to stop the tears from flowing. 😍
And the last good thing is that I have an appointment tomorrow with the urology clinic. I had a urine culture on Monday and not all of the infection is gone yet, but hopefully we can still schedule to get rid of Rocky forever!!! 🤞🤞🤞