This last while has sure thrown me down. Unmanageable levels of anxiety and bouts of depression mixed in have left me scared, confused, and concerned. My medicine hasn't been working the same this time as it did the first time around, and that has been disheartening, to say the least. At the same time, I've been amazed, once again, at how the darkness makes even the tiniest glimmers of light shine brighter. Really I write these things down for my own benefit to help me recognize and remember, but I share in case they could benefit someone else.
I see the light in my incredible husband who reassures me when I need it that he won't leave me for some better, happier life and who is always there to comfort, uplift, and walk with me through the dark.
I see it in my kids who give me every reason to get out of bed and to keep finding my purpose and who make me smile in the process.
I see it in my good counselor who has helped me take lots of little steps of progress in the last several months and who is slowly helping my heart heal.
I see it in my kind doctor who I know cares about me personally, who won't ever give up on me, and who takes the time to remind me that better days will come again.
I see it in my friends who help with my kids so that I can go to counseling, who listen to countless hours of me explaining what my heart is feeling, and who also don't give up on me, even though they don't have to be there.
I see it in my church family who let me share my whole heart with them this last Sunday and who have since embraced me with such warmth and love.
My heart physically aches right now for the hurt that it is bearing, but knowing that I don't have to bear it alone is the greatest blessing I could be given.
