2.16.2019

Misunderstood

Yesterday, I saw three comments on three separate posts that pierced my heart. They said:

Suicide is the most selfish thing anyone can do.
People who say they have a mental illness just need to snap out of it.
Depression is for the weak.

After seeing the third comment, I immediately logged out of Facebook and told myself that I would never get on again. My whole body felt like it was crumbling. I couldn't believe that people still thought things like that. It hurt so terribly that this part of me that is already so hard to handle is also misunderstood in a way that makes it seem shameful to experience it. I felt vulnerably shattered that I have shared so much and I have probably been judged and criticized by people who simply don't understand. It stung and made my blood boil all at the same time.

And then I remembered all the times when people have commented or private messaged me saying that they felt all alone until they read what I wrote and realized that they weren't the only one or times when people have said that what I have written has helped them to understand or feel compassion instead of judgement.

People may not understand the deep pain of mental illness, but I don't need to let that stop me from sharing. I simply hope that those who experience this same pain will find the strength to recognize that these misunderstandings aren't true.

I've never had to fight with more strength than I have in the last several years. Mental illness is not something that can be controlled or wished away. It's real and needs so much love and understanding. I'm thankful for all the people who have loved and shown compassion to me, even when it doesn't make sense why some things are so hard.

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