My Comfort Playlist

When I am struggling with depression, I struggle to feel the comfort of the Spirit or to feel Heavenly Father's love for me.  It has taken many months and years to recognize that this is simply a part of depression and is in no way a reflection of anything I have done wrong or how Heavenly Father actually feels about me.

Although I cannot feel normal, good, happy emotions at these times, sometimes I can feel a little bit of something, or at least I can remember what those good feelings feel like, when I listen to music.  It's usually the same several songs that play on repeat in my playlist until the darkness lifts, as each of these songs contain little gems that give me hope and peace in the midst of struggle.

So I thought I'd share my "comfort playlist" with you (in no particular order):

#1: "It Is Well with my Soul" by Vocal Point

This song is such a good reminder for me to not become bitter or angry at the struggles when they come.  It reminds me to find joy, to be patient, and to trust in Heavenly Father, as He really is in charge of my life and is simply preparing me for better things to come.

#2: "He Will Not Let Go" by Laura Story

This short and simple but very touching song has brought so much comfort when my heart has been the most broken.  It brings into my mind the beautiful image of being in the arms of the Savior who can heal all of my brokenness and make it into something beautiful.

#3: "If the Way Be Full of Trial, Weary Not" by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

This beautiful song gives me the strength and hope to keep going on even when things are so difficult.  It reminds me of all of the remarkable people who have faced much more difficult things than I have who have not given up and who have remained faithful.  It literally brings energy and motivation into my heart as I strive to be someone who patiently and bravely faces whatever comes my way.

#4: "Beautiful Heartbreak" by Hilary Weeks

This song is my motivation for writing this blog and for finding joy, as I strive to turn my heartbreaks into something beautiful and purposeful.  It makes me think of all the beautiful people who have become they amazing people they are today because of the many struggles and heartbreaks they have faced with faith and courage.  It also gives me a greater perspective on my trials, that even though I would rather not face so much sadness and darkness, it is worth it for the wonderful experiences I get to have as a result of facing pain.

#5: "My Kindness Shall Not Depart from Thee" by Rob Gardner

This masterpiece of a song is the perfect reminder that Heavenly Father is really not far away like it feels when I cannot feel Him near for weeks or months at a time.  It also reminds me that these painful feelings only last for a period of time before they pass and good days come again.

#6: "Just Let Me Cry" by Hilary Weeks

This song is sometimes just the right song when I need to remember that it's okay to cry instead of trying to be strong all the time.  It reminds me that it's okay to feel the emotions as they come, while still keeping the faith in God's perfect plan.  My favorite line is: "When I agreed that God could put this heart inside me, I understood that there would be a chance that it would break."  For some reason, this brings me so much comfort as I recognize that it's okay for my heart to be broken.

#7: "Falling Slowly" by 92 Keys

While this song doesn't have lyrics, I turn to this song when I need to remember to breath and just hold on.  It brings hope and peace to my heart as I listen to the beautiful violin and piano and see the beautiful scenery.  It's almost like this song takes me away from the current struggle for just a moment.