I have this secret note on my phone listing all the things I am thankful for about experiencing depression. It's secret because often I don't want to think about being thankful for something that has hurt me so much, and I certainly don't want other people to tell me to just be thankful in my darkest moments, but since this is the month of thanks, I want to finally share it. Please know that if you struggle with depression too, I am not telling you to be thankful for it. This is just my perspective.
1. Depression has brought my little family closer together, especially my husband and me. This is not my trial; it is ours, and we fight through it together.
2. Depression has made me hypersensitive to the sadness of others. I think about how others feel more often and am aware of what depression might look like in someone else. I am no longer afraid to ask someone if they are doing okay, even a stranger. I'm also not uncomfortable talking about "hard" topics.
3. Depression has given me opportunities to help others that I know I wouldn't have had otherwise. It has allowed me to speak up, reach out, and connect with people literally all around the world over this common struggle so many people face.
4. It has taken away *almost* all of my fear of being vulnerable. It has given me the burning desire to be 100% real and to share my story in an effort to help others know they are not alone.
5. It has made me appreciate the light in my life in a way that I know I wouldn't have had I not faced such frequent, debilitating darkness.
6. Depression has taught me valuable lessons about asking for and accepting help, learning to say no when needed to protect my mental health, simplifying my life, and being patient with myself as I do these things.
7. I have learned how to love more completely. I'm not perfect at this **obviously**, but depression has opened my eyes and my heart to understanding others and trying to see how they feel from their perspective. This has literally changed me and how I feel about the people around me.
8. It has made me appreciate and not find shame in embracing the God-given gifts of medicine and counseling to overcome and heal.
9. Depression has allowed me to see the goodness of others so clearly. I have been the recipient of such kind encouragement and love over these years of struggle and have seen firsthand the powerful effects of simple ministering.
10. It has given me opportunities to talk to my kids about depression openly and age-appropriately. We talk about "happy medicine", the hospital, people being sad because something is chemically wrong in their brain, and compassion. My hope is that my kids can be a force for good in the world because of this knowledge.
Depression has been the hardest, longest struggle I have ever faced, but it has also blessed my life in incredible ways. I still can't say that I am thankful to have experienced it as a whole, but I am thankful for the little things it has done to change me and my life for the better.
#givethanks
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