Miracles

 When I think of miracles, I think of my medicine.  A little half of a pill that takes me from thinking that I can't go on anymore, that I am completely failing my family, and that they would even be better off without me in their life to remembering what it is to feel happiness and hope again.  Every three months, I have to take a week break from the medicine.  The last week break was three weeks ago, and it was SO rough this time.  It always surprises me how quickly my life can go from beautiful light to bitter darkness, as well as how my heart can feel so much pain and keep beating.  But it does keep beating, because of the people around me who remind me that pain always passes, light always comes again, and choosing life is always worth it!  It's so humbling and feels incredibly vulnerable to have to rely on what other people see and know when my vision and mind are completely clouded by the darkness of depression, but eventually I can remember for myself who I am and why I am here, and I feel thankful that they didn't give up on me.  Today I know the light is coming back again, and it makes me want to hold my little family tight, because it's their love and their need for me that always gives me a reason to stay.