Opening Up

“When we open up about our emotional challenges, admitting we are not perfect, we give others permission to share their struggles. Together we realize there is hope and we do not have to suffer alone.” ~Reyna Aburto

This quote really struck me tonight. I've hesitated being very open recently, mostly because we just moved, and it's hard to be open and honest when I first meet people, because I want people to see me as I am. I don't want to be defined by depression, as it is just one part of me. But this quote gave me strength as I remembered how sharing my story in the past has given me the ability to connect and relate to people in such a beautiful way, and it can do that again if I can just be brave enough to share.

The truth is, I am struggling. There I said it. Not only is my depression back in full force after losing all of my happy pregnancy hormones and especially with winter coming closer every day, but this year I am dealing with a lot of trauma from how hard the last winter was. Few people know the extent of how much I struggled last winter, but I can oversimplify it to say that things have never been that difficult before and that miracles literally saw us through. I've spent a good portion of this last week crying alone in my closet or at a friend's house, and I'm forever thankful for the people Heavenly Father has placed in my life to bless me on my dark days. As much as it hurts and as hard as it may get, I'm holding onto faith. Faith in better days to come, faith in God's perfect plan for me, and faith that I can be strong enough to win this fight.

If you are struggling too, just know that you are not alone. You are loved. You are needed. You can do really really hard things. I am here. That's one of the beautiful blessings of struggling through this myself. I can be a safe place for anyone who needs someone to confide in. There really is hope. There is always hope.