My Birthday

The days and weeks leading up to my birthday, I cried a lot. I didn't want that day to come. It felt like this painful reminder that it's been another year and I'm still not better, that I am still so young and overwhelmingly have so much life ahead of me yet to live, and that this used to be one of the most exciting days of the year but I am different now.

Despite all of the worrying and sadness leading up to it, yesterday was quite possibly the best day of the last year. I literally felt showered in love. I felt the warmth of so much friendship surrounding me and lifting me up. I felt like I could have a new start for my life, like I could build on the brokenness of the last while and make sense of some things again.

The best part of it all though was that I had my appointment with the hormone doctor after getting lab results back, and it was incredibly hopeful. It's going to take some time and tweaking to figure out how much supplementing I need, but he is confident that he knows what the problem is and that there are very good days ahead.

Also, I was too busy soaking in the day yesterday, so this is the only picture I got. 😂 Thanks to everyone who made me feel special and loved. I can't really describe how much it meant to me.