9.03.2022

Seeing God in the Pain

Last Friday, Saturday, and Monday, three separate things happened that led to a bout of severe depression on Tuesday, the same day we left for camping for a few days at Lionhead.  We got there, and I was so sad.  I had such little energy.  I just wanted to sit in my chair on the beach and cry while I watched my family play and have fun.  In the evenings after getting our kids to bed, Kyle and I would sit around the fire and talk while I cried, but the depression still wouldn't break.  On the evening of the second night, there was the most BEAUTIFUL sunset, and it suddenly lit this fire inside of me.  I pulled out my camera for the first time that trip and began trying to capture the beauty.  Then that night there were the most incredible stars lighting up the whole entire sky.  And the next day there were beautiful trees, rocks, and water.  It all kept filling my cup until I was able to fully enjoy the rest of the time I had with my family.  I will never understand why things happen the way they do, and I will probably never be thankful to feel such deep emotions, but I will always be thankful for the little moments when I think I see God in the pain.  This was one of those powerful moments.  (Not to leave out Kyle and all of his patient kindness when I am struggling.)





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