On Friday, after talking to my doctor and per his instruction, I stopped taking the mood stabilizer I had been prescribed and only continued on the antidepressant. Apparently he meant to call in another mood stabilizer and forgot, probably because all of this happened via text. Saturday morning, I started to feel great-- tons of energy, thoughts racing 400 mph, this feeling of complete invincibility, the thought that I had conquered depression and that I had the ability to make sure it never came back, etc. It felt incredible to finally feel good, but I knew that it was more than a normal feeling of good, especially since it was the starkest contrast from just two days before. Yesterday, I texted my doctor again, he realized that he had forgotten to send in the new prescription, and he confirmed that this was a manic high caused by taking the antidepressant by itself without a mood stabilizer. Unfortunately, this feeling won't be here forever, but we took advantage of its presence to enjoy lots of outdoor time as a family on this beautiful, warm weekend.
I'm so so so thankful for good days, especially when I can enjoy them with my family! I'm thankful that finally after over 3 years of doctors going back and forth and trying to decide what is happening in my brain, it is very clear that this is bipolar. I'm thankful for my doctor who has been so caring, kind, and helpful through this process. I'm thankful for the hope that has gotten me through the hellish days of darkness that have often seemed unrelenting at the time. I'm thankful for sunshine, warmth, fresh air, and beautiful nature. I'm thankful for my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment