Overcoming

 Two months ago, I fell and broke.  I still don’t really know why.  That’s the part that scares me the most.  I don’t know how it all happened, so I can’t stop it from happening again.  But now, I’m slowly rising, healing, overcoming, and hoping that everything I’m doing to get back up will allow me to stay far away from where I was before.

Sometimes I stumble on a trigger that unexpectedly takes me back to the painful memories from before I went to the hospital.  But when I feel the panic increasing as I wonder if my heart will feel that pain again, I remember all the tools I’ve picked up in the last two months that make me more capable than I was before, and the anxiety eventually subsides.

--My family and I have grown so much together.  We have learned how to fight this with each other’s help and how to better work as a team.  Kyle Avery has done more than I can possibly write out to help me and our kids get through this time.

--I am seeing an amazing new counselor who specializes in trauma and who is helping me learn how to combat anxiety and triggers.  It’s such an empowering feeling to think that I can overcome anxiety, not be a slave to it.  It’s a long process, but I’m going to get there with her guidance.

--I have anxiety and sleep medications that are helping for now.  I hope to not need them forever, but they are there to help me get by, and I am thankful.

--While in the hospital, I learned about the crisis center.  It’s like a bridge between home and the hospital.  I’ve been able to use that resource twice now, and it has helped me have a reset without having to be admitted.  

--I am surrounded by close friends who have done so much to help me and my kids when Kyle is at work.  I feel great comfort knowing that they are always there and are willing to help if I need it.  I’m not afraid to reach out to them for help or tell how I am really doing.

--I’ve figured out some high calorie options to eat or drink when I am struggling with eating.  This makes such a huge difference when I am able to give my body enough energy so that I’m not adding to the problem by not eating enough.

--Most of all, I started working with a new hormone specialist who will hopefully be able to help this problem long-term.  I have hormone labs coming up on October 12th.  I’m excited and nervous to see what she thinks my body needs to thrive.  

I'm still winning, and I will keep winning using all of these wonderful resources available to me.  Someday, I hope to be able to look back and see just how far I have come.