But I Was Wrong

I feel so passionate about breaking the silence of suicide. I know it's uncomfortable to talk about. I know it's not something people want to discuss. But I have seen too many miracles, too many perfectly-timed blessings that have saved my own life, that I can't help but share some of my experiences with the hope that sharing can be a lifeline of hope to someone else.

Several months ago, I saw this video about a man who attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. By some very real miracle, he lived, and now he is a motivational speaker who shares his story with thousands of people around the world. At the beginning of this video, he said something that has stuck with me ever since. He said, "I thought I had to die. But I was wrong."

Fast forward to the past two weekends. Sometimes it feels like something in my brain snaps, and suddenly it seems like the only option for me is to die. It's scary and so real, and it has happened the last two weekends. I've managed to overcome these moments by reaching out for help and by thinking of my beautiful family and how much they need me, and I'm okay now. I really am okay.

Just the day after both of these times, we were doing something together as a family, and I felt joy. Both times, I remembered this video I had seen and what the man said. I, too, thought I had to die. But I was wrong. I thought there was no hope. But I was wrong. I thought there was no reason to keep going. But I was wrong. The light DOES come again. I AM loved and needed and stronger than the darkness of depression. Please, if you are feeling any of these things, reach out for help. You are loved and needed and so strong. Your light will come again!!!