What if the Greatest Good...

I've thought about sharing this post for a few weeks now, but I've hesitated because I don't want it to draw attention to myself. I finally decided to in case it can help someone else, but just know that this simply meant to uplift anyone who feels that their current circumstances limit their ability to bless the lives of others.

I've honestly prayed many times in the last several years for this struggle with depression to be taken away. Of course, I want relief for my broken heart and mind, but sometimes there is this more pressing concern that I could do so much more good in this world if this wasn't an ongoing struggle in my life. I would be so much more available to serve and give of my time and energy to bless others if this struggle was miraculously healed.

Recently when I've prayed and tried to explain to Heavenly Father my desires to serve that feel impossible to fulfill at this time, this thought has come into my mind, "You want to be healed to do good, but what if the greatest good you can do comes through having this struggle?"

This took me back at first, as I confusedly wondered how a life that feels broken into so many tiny pieces can still be used to do good. But slowly, my eyes have been opened, as I have recognized the beautiful opportunities my broken heart has been given to connect with other broken hearts in ways that I know it couldn't have otherwise. I have been humbled to witness how God can take my small offering and multiply it to make it so much more. I have been able to see ways that I can serve within my own capacities that still do good in the world, even if they're different from what I desire to do.

I still want to be healed, and I always will. I will never stop trying to find relief and I'll never stop hoping in better days ahead, but I find joy in moments when I can see things from a different perspective and know that whatever happens in my life is truly best for me and for those around me.