Faith in God

I try to be vulnerable and share my experiences with depression for two reasons-- 1) to help those who experience similar things to know that they are not alone and 2) to help others who don't experience these things to have more understanding and love for those who do.

Since beginning to write, I have had a lot of comments and opinions shared, some that brighten my day and lighten my load and others that aren't very helpful or kind.  I have reached the point where I am able to disregard these and they have very little affect on me, but I've been thinking about some of them recently. One of the most frequent opinions that has been shared with me is that if I just had enough faith, then this problem would be healed.

At first, this was devastating to think that I was being judged as not having enough faith because I experienced an ongoing struggle with depression. Over time, the comments about my apparent "lack of faith" have stopped bothering me, but in listening to the recent General Conference talk by Elder Brook Hales, I have appreciated this part of his talk: "Sometimes our prayers are answered quickly with the outcome we hope for. Sometimes our prayers are not answered in the way we hope for, yet with time we learn that God had greater blessings prepared for us than we initially anticipated. And sometimes our righteous petitions to God will not be granted in this life. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, 'Faith also includes trust in God’s timing.'"

I believe that I have the faith to be healed. I really do. But that has not been God's will for my life. It hasn't even been His will for me to find a medication that can relieve the burden yet. That does not mean that I don't have faith. It simply means that God has greater plans in store for my life than what I can understand right now. I will never stop praying for my miracle or praying for relief, but even if that prayer is never answered in this life, I have faith that someday my mind and heart WILL be made whole, never to be broken in this way again.

I'm not trying to direct this at anyone or make anyone feel bad, and I truly believe that people mean well. I simply want to point out that some things are less helpful or even harmful to say.