My husband, McKay, and I got married in August 2013. Just 6 months later, we were ready to start our family and bring beautiful children into this world. We were nervous, but so happy. As a woman, I was excited to become a partner with our Heavenly Father in creating a body for one of His precious spirit children. I knew what a sacred experience this would be and, although pregnancy is difficult, I knew the Lord would see me through. Each month our anticipation and excitement grew, as we waited for the time to take the pregnancy tests. Each month, our hopes were dashed and our hearts broken as we got negative after negative.
It has been a journey of almost 3 years and no successes. As depressing as that sounds, we have found JOY in our journey. Our Father knows us 100% and wants the best for us. Because of this, He knows when to give us blessings. I know that my desire for a child is a righteous desire, and Heavenly Father will grant it. I also know that, although I want a child now, Heavenly Father knows the right time for a child to come into my life. This trial of infertility has blessed me with an increase in faith and trust in our loving Father in Heaven.
Along with this increase of faith and trust has come a greater understanding of His love for us. Our Father knows us personally. He knows what joys and trials we experience, and He knows how to help us through the hard times. Heavenly Father has blessed me with patience, which has been the only way I have been able to endure these past years.
It is not easy to find JOY in trials. Heartache and pain make it very difficult. However, there is JOY in my trial. I have found JOY in coming to know my Heavenly Father better. I have found JOY in learning to rely on His power. I have found JOY in feeling blessings of patience from my Father. I have found JOY in His love, compassion, and patience for me, when I have doubts. I have found JOY in discovering more about myself. I have found JOY in growing closer to my sweet husband. I have found JOY in the time McKay and I have been given to strengthen our relationship before we are blessed with children. I have found JOY in loving my cute pup that takes care of me. I have found JOY in being the best aunt I can be to my 15 (almost 16) nieces and nephews. I have found JOY in reaching out to others experiencing similar trials. I have found JOY in infertility.