I was drugged and raped last year and got pregnant as a result. When I found out I was pregnant, I was planning on keeping him, but as I got farther along in my pregnancy, I realized I would struggle raising him, even if I would have had a support system. There were many things I wanted him to have that I wasn't able to give him, like two parents and a stable environment to grow up in, so when I was 17 weeks pregnant, I decided to put him up for adoption. I started to worry that I wouldn't be able to find a good family for him in time. I looked around for families for my little one, and I prayed about each family that I looked at, but none stuck out to me, and none seemed right.
My cousin (who I barely knew) messaged me one night and said that, if I wanted a family open adoption, they would be more than happy to adopt him. I prayed about it and felt good about that right away. They have another baby that took them 5 years to have who just turned 1, and they knew they wouldn't be able to have another one, so they were going to look into adoption later down the road when their first one was a little older. But the opportunity came up sooner than expected, so after I made the decision to place my baby with them, I made a trip to New Mexico (where they live) to get to know them a little better and to start the paperwork for the adoption.
This has been one of the hardest challenges for me in my life, but I have found joy through my challenge, because I know I did what was best for him, I can watch him grow up, and I am able to get to know him throughout his whole life. I knew I would be blessed for putting him first. I lost friends from this choice I made, because people didn't understand why I gave him up. I realized that Heavenly Father was watching over me and was aware of my needs, and He was with me every single step of the way during my pregnancy. After Alex was born, He was with me. When I made the huge decision to put Alex up for adoption, He was there. When it came to picking the family for Alex, He was there. The joy that I find from putting Alex up for adoption is that he has a father and a mother, an eternal family, and a stable environment. That’s everything I wanted him to have.